There's just too much on my mind right now. Like way too much.
I don't know when Maa's coming back home. I don't feel like apologizing to her anymore. Just once was enough. Putting all my ego and 19 years of hatred aside, not easy, i say. A recent development at college is pressing on my mind too. Why am i such a loser? Should have thought before doing all this. Laughing my ass off felt good at that time but now, i feel like shit. I have lost too many people already and you be the last i want to let go off.
I just opened my bag and found a dabba of pringles that i'd smuggled from uni. Should i eat it or should i leave it? GOD! WHY IS DECISION-MAKING SO DIFFICULT?
Then there is this ever acute terror of me flunkin' CNS. Namrah said Internal's count a lot and no matter how much you exert in the prof, if you fucked up your modules, you are heading straight for supply. I heard they cancelled supply's too? This means getting detained? Yes, it does. FUCK!
So last night, alee said i was screwing up my life. 24 hours after what he said, i think he was right. I am screwing it up badly. He said start from scratch? Talk to dad?
I think i took his words a bit too seriously, so if dad kills me for saying this, i'm nuking you. (I'm pretty sure he'll never read this, so maybe the threat wasn't made home.)
Working on last night's convo, I listened to a lecture of Biochem for the first time in my life and surprisingly, it actually made sense. Maybe 'cause Collagen was easy? But anyway, an achievement is an achievement, no matter how biochem-ish.
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